Sunday, December 6, 2009

How do you like my jokes so far?

if you think i am done telling jokes you are very wrong



How do you like my jokes so far?-Myspace pictures





1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.



2. Nothing improves with age.



3. No matter how many times you鈥檝e had it, if it鈥檚 offered take it, because it鈥檒l never be quite the same again.



4. Sex has no calories.



5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.



6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.



7. Sex appeal is 50% what you鈥檝e got and 50% what people think you鈥檝e got.



8. No sex with anyone in the same office.



9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.



10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.



11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.



12. Virginity can be cured.



13. When a man鈥檚 wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.



14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.



15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can鈥檛 stand years later.



16. Sex is dirty only if it鈥檚 done right.



17. It is always the wrong time of month.



18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.



19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.



20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won鈥檛 either.



21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night 鈥?Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.



22. The younger the better.



23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.



24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.



25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.



27. Before you find your handsome prince, you鈥檝e got to kiss a lot of frogs.



28. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.



29. Love your neighbor, but don鈥檛 get caught.



30. Love is a hole in the heart.



31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.



32. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.



33. Do it only with the best.



34. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.



35. One good turn gets most of the blankets.



36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.



37. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.



38. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.



39. Thou shalt not commit adultery鈥?.unless in the mood.



40. Never lie down with a woman who鈥檚 got more troubles than you.



41. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.



42. Never argue with a women when she鈥檚 tired 鈥?or rested.



43. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn鈥檛.



44. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.



45. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.



46. Never say no.



47. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn鈥檛 love her.



48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.



49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.



50. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.



51. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.



52. Love comes in spurts.



53. The world does not revolve on an axis.



54. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.



55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.



56. Don鈥檛 do it if you can鈥檛 keep it up.



57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.



58. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.



59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.



60. 鈥淭his won鈥檛 hurt, I promise,鈥?br>How do you like my jokes so far?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)



thank god your not done your making me laugh keep it going after all most of us are just here for fun
Jokes are funnier when you are high
Haven't heard any yet...
what joke?
Only a six
huh? theres no joke...is this a trcik
lol. they're awesome:)
I like them except HONESTLY you tell a lot of old ones, don't get me wrong they're good ones but ones we hear often sorry 鈾||I love'em. Keep'em coming! LOL.

No comments:

Post a Comment

 
rate my teacher