what are your best blonde jokes????
Help! cute doctor likes blonde jokes! i don't know any good ones!?-Myspace pictures
HOW FAR
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking.... and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away, Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo閳ワ腹鈧?. can you see Florida...?????"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor". She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed , then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?閳?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde".
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and landed on Science %26amp; Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" 閳ユ窏ELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
What about this one?
Ok there was this blonde. she was minding here own business, just walking along. When she saw it.........
A pure white steed...... With a Golden saddle and accessories....
Well the blonde had never ridden a horse before, and there was absolutely NO one to tell her that she couldn't......
"what the heck " she thought to her self, "I have always wanted to ride a horse before..."
So not easily, she some how got her sel f into position.
"Hey this isn't so bad" she thought %26lt;----- thought
But then something went terribly terribly wrong..... The horse started bucking.... Flinging the poor blond her hair got into here eyes and she couldn't see a thing... one of her feet came out of the stirrup! (She started screaming!!! For the horse to stop!! But it kept barreling on.
She saw her life flash before her eyes.....
Her head stated bobbing and hitting the hard hard ground....
just then When she thought that her Life was at its end, when she thought her lif was DOOMED
the secuirity guard at wall-mart pulled the plug of the horse
a blonde was tired of everyone thinking that blondes were stupid, and she didn't like all these jokes. To end the injustice, she decided to prove to the world that she was smart.
In order to prove herself, she chose to memorize the capital of every American state. It wasn't an easy task, but she was determined and eventually managed to do it.
A few days later she was in a bar, and heard a couple of men laughing at a blonde joke. This was the perfect opportunity to start righting all the wrongs that had been done to blondes in the past - she would set these men straight!
Marching over at a rapid pace she announced,
"It isn't true that all blondes are stupid, and I will prove it. Just ask me the capital of any American state, and I will tell you what it is."
Although a little surprised, the men did challenge her and asked,
"Ok, how about Arizona?"
The Blonde, after pausing for a moments thought, proudly gave the answer,
"A"!
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A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,
"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."
Then the redhead said
"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied
"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"
How do u sink a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door.
Why did the blonde stay up all nite studying?
She had a urine test in the morning.
2 blondes were walking along the railroad one morning after spending all nite at a nightclub. "Wow, these stairs are killing me." said the first blonde. The second blonde goraned back. "The stairs don't bother me as much as the low handrail"
Why do blonde girls have bruises around their belly buttons?
Because blonde guys are dumb too.
Why do blondes hate M%26amp;Ms? they r to hard to peel:)
Why cant u ever trust a blonde to dial 911?
They will spend hours looking for the "eleven"
Got any funny ones??? Do these jokes bother u if u happen to be blonde???GET OVER IT hahahaha
1) A blonde calls 911, and says her house is on fire.
the dispatcher asks her where her house is
the blonde says she doesn't know
the dispatcher, getting frustrated with her says, Well how are we supposed to get there?
the blonde says Well DUH! Big red truck!
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2) How do you make Anti-freeze?
Take away her blanket.
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3) You do know why a blonde can't make ice cubes, don't you? She doesn't have the recipe!
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4) Q. How can you tell if a blond has been using your word processor?
A. All the white out on the screen.
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5) I'm blond and I'm not bothered by blond jokes because I know that a person's hair color has nothing to do with how smart a person is. I just graduated from high school on Saturday with honors and I have already taken college courses while still in high school. I am blond but I'm by no means dumb.
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6) Why did the blonde get confused in the the
bathroom?
She is not used to pulling her own pants down.
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11 months ago
8) Why don't many blondes eat bananas?
They can't find the zipper
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9)How do you drown a blonde?
Put a mirror at the bottom of the swiming pool.
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10) How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
What! And break a fingernail?
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11) How come all blond jokes are all one liners?
So men can understand them!
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12) Blonde and a Brunette jump out of a plane.... who hits the ground first?
The Brunette.... The Blond stops and asks for directions.
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13) "I don't mind when people tell me dumb blonde jokes, cause I know I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blond."
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14) Who would ask that except a blonde?
Many blondes, the last thing I think about is whether they're stupid or not.
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15) the question is do blonds understand Blondie jokes!
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16)Why did the blonde change her baby's diapers once a week.
The box said "Up to 20 pounds"
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17) How do you know a blond's been at a computer?
Theres lipstick on the joystick
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18) There was two blondes driving and they pulled over so one blonde told the other blonde to check if the blinker on the car was working. so when she was looking and it was blinking on she said "yes its working" and when it blinked off she said"its not working anymore" so the whole time she was like yes no yes no and her friend was so confused. lol dumb blondes
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19) How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None.
Blondes screw just about anyplace else, however ....
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20) Two blondes walking down the street one says "oh no a dead bird" the other one looks into the sky and says "where"
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21) Did you hear the one about the angry blonde on Yahoo! Answers...oh, nevermind :-)
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22) why 80 million blondes girls go back in sky to meet God ?
because God want to give to them a brain
Here is some more http://www.zelo.com/blonde/
Help! cute doctor likes blonde jokes! i don't know any good ones!?
-(Myspace images myspace.com)
look at what other people asked.....that might help
Look at my profile and look for best answers and look for the question " Star if you like this one, polar?"
:) LOL gave u enough jokes
Cause I'm Blonde
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I
counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
'Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. "Mommy, Mommy,"
She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? a, b, c, d, e,f, g!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy,"
she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these! !" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No, Honey, it's because you're 25."
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