Good Clean Jokes?

Hi folks! Tomorrow night I have volunteered to help with a mother's day dinner (yeah, I know mother's day isn't until Sunday). The organiser has asked me to do a standup routine and I need a couple more clean jokes. Anyone got any good ones? They must be clean and preferably about mums/dads, husbands/wives or kids.

Thanks!

Good Clean Jokes?-Myspace pictures

My mother was very ill, she couldnt look after herself, cook, wash,clean so i thought ..well theres nothing in it for me so i left

Good Clean Jokes?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

Take my mother in law, please somebody.... I'm 'ere all week
don t know any
I've got one, so this guy is racing down the freeway at 110mph and gets pulled over. The officer says to the man 'what do you think you are doing going so fast' and before the man can answer the officer sees penguins in the back of the car. So the officer says 'What are you doing with penguins in your car, take them to the zoo immediately!!!"

The next morning the man says to the penguins 'okay guys, put your sunglasses on' goes screaming down the highway at 110mph and gets pulled over by the same officer.

The officer sees the man and says 'you again!!, hey, what are you doing with those penguins in your car, I thought I told you to take them to the zoo???'

The man replied ' I did, and today we're goin' to the beach!'

lol!!! I know, corny, but a little funny? At least it's clean.

Good luck. Oh and mother's day isn't until May.
what does an indian mother watch?

Currynation Street

I know, lame but ya know mothers, unless ur american and u dont have those soaps ^^
whats brown and sticky

a stick

whats bruce lees favorite beverage

wahhh-tahhh

and mothers day isnt until may
A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, "What are you doin' in here with that stupid thing"? The guy says "Hey, don't say that, you'll hurt his feelings". The bartender says, "I was talkin' to the duck"!
Please for all the Americans reading this.....the British i.e. the English, Scottish, Welsh and the Northern Irish are celebrating their mothers tomorrow!!!! Sunday 2nd March 2008!!!! Ok there is a world beyond your George W Bush country!!!!!!!!!

plus the joke!!!

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says...."HEBREWS"
Very good.
ok a guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence. this allows him though to speak once evry ten years. so the first ten years pass and he is asked if he has anything to say/ he replies, yes could i have a bit more milk in my tea from now on? granted, he is told.

so then another ten years pass, and he is permitted to speak again. he is asked if he has anything to say. he says yes could i have a bit more sugar on my cornflakes from now on. granted he is told.

so another ten years pass by and he is asked if he has anything to say. he says yes, i think im gonna leave the monastry, this isnt for me.

the guy says to him just as well, youve done nothing but moan since you got here!
a husband and wife had a big arguement and were giving each other the silent treatment while driving down the countryside.

the husband spotted a farm and saw pigs in the slush and in a scornful manner asks his wife "relatives of yours"

she says 'Yes my in-laws'

husband tells his wife "you dont like any of my relatives"

the wife says "now dear thats not true i like YOUR mother-in-law better than i like MINE"

hope that helps

all the best