I need some funny jokes for ages 10 - 14. Can you please tell me some?

As you might be able to tell by looking at my profile, I really think school is kind of cool. I love to write and want to be an author whe I grow up. I am recording some jokes in a note pad saved on the computer just for fun. Can someone please tell me a few of your jokes? They don't have to be that funny. Oh, and please don't call me a geek, I know that is what you might think. Oh, and also, please no mean responses. Thanx!!

~:Shannon:~

I need some funny jokes for ages 10 - 14. Can you please tell me some?-Myspace pictures

what are mario's favorite kind of pants?

denim, denim, denim.

I need some funny jokes for ages 10 - 14. Can you please tell me some?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

take somthing funny from your life
I always thought this was funny! "What kind of cheese aint yours?"

"Nacho cheese!"
How can you tell an elephants been in your fridge?

There are footprints in the butter
HEAR ABOUT THE GUY WHO HAD HIS LEFT SIDE CUT OFF?

HE'S ALL RIGHT NOW!
So there is an american and a canadian at the top of the CN tower and The canadaian says, "I bet you I can drop my watch run down and catch it." The american say's "Okay, I'll go first". He drops his watch runs down and it's on the ground.

The canadian drops his watch runs halfway, eats a sandwich, runs the rest and catches it. The one guy said "how did you do that?" The canadian said, "My watch is 20 minutes slower"
A guy walks into a bar..

ouch.

:]]
Q: Why did the banker break up with his girlfriend?

A: He lost interest
I think my favorite is...

What do you call a blind Dinosaur?

I don't think he saurus.
more for 14 but

If A quiz is a quiz~icle~

Than what would a test be?
how do you get a pikachu on a bus?

Answer: POKEMON!!!

(like... "poke him on" hahaha)
HI I love jokes to. I am 11 and my friends make fun of me to. Its ok THOUGH HERE ARE SOME JOKES. What is black+ white and red all over........... A newspaper!

What is silant when you have it. But loud when youdont have it? A seacret!!!
1. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A Gummy bear.

2. What did one math book say to another math book?

I've got a lot of problems.
why did cinderella get kicked of the soccer team

because she ran away from the ball
there are 3 guys stranded at sea. 2 of the guys are smart and 1 of them is very stupid. the nearest land is 100 miles away. one of the smart guys swims 54 miles and dies. the other smart guys swims 34 miles and dies. and the stupid guys swims 99 miles and swims back because he is tired.
this ones lame but cute. what do you call a bear with no teeth??

a gummy bear!!! lol
ur a geek but in the good way (i am 2!!) heres a joke

A mother has 2 daughters and 1 son. The first daughter asks her mother, "Mom why am I named Julia?" "Because when you were born my jeweled necklace fell on your head," responded the mother. The second daughter asks, "Mommy why am I named Lily?" "Because when you were born a lily, from the bouquet of flowers your father gave me, fell on your head. The two girls discuss their name origins when Julia starts lughing hysterically. "What is so funny?" asked Lily. All Julia could do was point to their mental brother go up to a plant and say, "Hello, Ursull-ll-la! My n-n-name i-is J-John!"

If you don't get it, remember another name for the toilet is the John.
ok so 3 girls were stranded on a boat; one blonde, one brunette, and one redhead.

the redhead says: I think land is about 20 miles from here. I'm gonna try to swim it.

so she swims about 8 miles and drowns.

the brunette says: well, i guess i'll give it a shot.

the brunette trys to swim it. she made it 10 miles and drown.

the blonde: well, i guess i have no choice.

she trys to swim the 20 miles.

she makes 10 miles, gets tired, and swims the 10 miles back to the boat.

(do you get it? she could have swam the 10 more miles to shore!!) lol i didnt get it at first.
The other day I was driving in my car when I was stopped by the police. I rolled down the window and the officer said "excuse me sir, do you know that's it is illegal to carry Rhino's in your car?" "no" I replied. The officer then instructed me to take the rhino to the Zoo. Later that day I was driving home when the same officer stopped me again. "sir" he said " I thought I told you to take the rhino to the zoo". "Oh I did" I replied, "now we're going for pizza!!!"

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A: No eye deer!

Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

A: Still no eye deer!

Q: What do call a spider with no legs?

A: Dot

Sorry!
1. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A Gummy bear.

2. What did one math book say to another math book?

I've got a lot of problems.

3. What does an alligator drink to re-fresh it's self?

Gatorade
*what word is spelled incorrectly?

-Incorrectly

*Why did tigger look inside the toilet?

-He was looking for Pooh!!

* Knock Knock

Who's there?

Boo

Boo Who?

Don't Cry it's only a joke.

* Q: What is a baby's motto

A: If at first you don't succeed cry cry again!

*what is the longest word in the dictionary?

A: the word smiles because there is a mile between each s

* Q: who earns a living driving their customers away?

A: a taxi driver.

* There were three guys and a dragon . The dragon said, "I am going to eat you.

The first guy said, "No, let's make a deal."

The dragon said ,"O.K. what kind of deal?"

The second guy said, "If we each tell you something that we think you can't do, and you can do all of it, you may eat us." The dragon agreed to the deal.

So the first guy said, "Go to the barn, eat 16 rooms of hay,". The dragon did it.

The second guy said, "Drink half of the ocean water." The dragon succeeded in doing this, also.

The third guy burped, and said, "Catch it and paint it green."

The three guys lived happily ever after!

* Shirley: I hope we get our keys out of our locked convertible soon.

Laverne: Me too. I've been trying to get the window open with this coat hanger for the past hour.

Shirley: Well hurry, it looks like it's going to rain and the top is down.

* I am sad to report that today the writer of the Hokey Pokey died today. His

funeral was very sad. The saddest part was putting him in his casket. They

put his left arm, they put his right arm in, and well, you know the rest...

*A jokes fun club. All the jokes are catalogued and the old members know their numbers. An old member says:

- Five!

All laugh. Another member:

- Twenty four!

General laugh. A newbie, first time in one session, saw that's enough tell the number of a joke, decides to try:

- Sixteen!

Absolute silence. Nobody laugh. One of the old members tells him:

- Colleague, doesn閳ユ獩 matter the joke, it閳ユ獨 important to tell it well.

*In a restaurant, a man ordered soup but, as soon as it arrived, he had to go to the bathroom. To make sure that nobody touched his soup while he is away, he wrote on a napkin: "I SPIT IN THE SOUP".

When he returned, he found another message on napkin: "ME, TOO".

*A policeman comes to the office with one black shoe and one white shoe. His boss starts to yell at him:

- You are ruining police reputation, go home and change the shoes.

The policeman goes home, and comes back after a while.

- Boss I have a problem, the other pair of shoes at home are black and white, too.

*Two policemen are in a patrol car:

- Could you check if the directionals work on your side of the car?

The other policeman looks through the window and says:

- Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no...

*

I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes, and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a stupid idiot. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!

Then I really got angry at him. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.

*A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

*A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing.

"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer."

PS: I respect your dream to write

*
Tell someone (reccomended for kids 13 and 14) to say Free Way without the F in in Free and the F in way.

The person says "There's no F in way" but it comes out sounding like "There's no effin way"
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"

A French guest who was staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper.

"Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge.

"Toilette pepper!"
Mouse Jokes

What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them?

Mice Krispies!

What is small, furry and brilliant at sword fights?

A mouseketeer!

What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?

Dirty looks from the mouse!

What is a mouse's favorite record?

'Please cheese me'!

What goes eek, eek, bang?

A mouse in a minefield!

What squeaks as it solves crimes?

Miami mice!

What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer?

Mice cubes!

What's gray, squeaky and hangs around in caves?

Stalagmice!

What mouse was a Roman emperor?

Julius Cheeser!

Who is king of all the mice?

Mouse Tse Tung!
how old are u????

and dirty??????????

haha or clean =(
you're a geek