Know any hysterically funny CLEAN jokes? Wanna tell me? Please????

Ok, so I have a presentation and I need at least 2 HYSTERICALLY FUNNY jokes that an audience of 12-13 year olds would enjoy. They cannot be dirty, ethnic, or racist. We're allowed to use blonde jokes.

Tell me your best!

Know any hysterically funny CLEAN jokes? Wanna tell me? Please????-Myspace pictures

Little Susie comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day.

And, "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for sending someone a valentine?

Susie's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to send a valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock.

"I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to send Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then! ... he'd start going all over the place telling everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride. "Susie, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."

"I know," says Susie. "And once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the **** out of him."

also for those of u who gave little 5 year old jokes just remember that 12-13 year olds know a lot, they hear and see and watch EVERYTHING! so what u may think of as 12-13 like :

what did the snail say when he went for a ride on the turtles back? wheeee!

is for a 3 year old

Know any hysterically funny CLEAN jokes? Wanna tell me? Please????

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

What goes 'HA! HA! Plop.'?

Someone laughing their head off.
Babaloo only said Babaloo.One day Babaloo was working.A lady said how much are these apples.Babaloo said babalooThe manager said no Babaloo your supposed to say 10 cents.The next day a lady said how much are these apples babaloo said 10 cents.The lady said are they fresh/babaloo said babaloo.The manager said,you say as fresh as can be...next day someone said how much are these apples.babaloo said 10 cants.she said are they fresh.babaloo said as fresh as can be.she asked if she can buy them.babaloo said babaloo.The manager said you say if you don't who will.That night a theif came.he said how much moneys in your cash register.Babaloo said 10 cants.the thief said are you being fresh with me.babaloo said as fresh as can be.he said im gonna kill you.Babaloo said if you don't who will
blondes are so stupid that:

they try to kill fish by drowning them; kill birds by throwing them off cliffs; kill worms by burying them alive
they might enjoy this: what did the snail say when he went for a ride on the turtles back? wheeee! seeing on the screen makes me think 12-13 yr olds might be alittle old for this joke. joke#2 A doctor told Fred that if he ran 5 miles a day for 300 days he would lose 75 pounds. At the end of 300 days, Fred called the doctor to report that he had lost the weight, but that he had a problem. "Whats the problem" asked the doctor? "Im 1500 miles from home."
One day a blonde went to work and she got in the elevator with this guy. The looks at him and says "T-G-I-F." in a happy mood. Then the guy looks at her and says "S-H-I-T." Then the blonde, confused, says it again. Then the man tells her the same thing. This goes on for a while and eventually the blonde says "T-G-I-F. Thank-god-its-Friday." Then the man says "S-H-I-T. Sorry-honey-its-Thursday."

One day a blonde was tired of everyone thinking that blondes were stupid, and she didn't like all these jokes. To end the injustice, she decided to prove to the world that she was smart. In order to prove herself, she chose to memorize the capital of every American state. It wasn't an easy task, but she was determined and eventually managed to do it. A few days later she was in a bar, and heard a couple of men laughing at a blonde joke. This was the perfect opportunity to start righting all the wrongs that had been done to blondes in the past - she would set these men straight! Marching over at a rapid pace she announced, "It isn't true that all blondes are stupid, and I will prove it. Just ask me the capital of any American state, and I will tell you what it is." Although a little surprised, the men did challenge her and asked, "Ok, how about Arizona?" The Blonde, after pausing for a moments thought, proudly gave the answer, "A!''

A blonde was on a plane and she was sitting by a lawyer. The lawyer looked over at her and said "Do you want to play a game?" The blonde said "No thanks.'' Then the lawyer said "It is a cool game. I'll ask you a question and if you can't answer it correctly then you give me $5. Then you ask me a question and if I can't answer it correctly then I'll give you $50.'' So the blonde says ''Okay.'' They start asking each other questions and it was the blondes turn again. She asks the lawyer ''What goes up a hill with 4 legs then comes back down with 3?'' The lawyer couldn't figure it out so he looked on his laptop and called his friends but they couldn't figure it out so finally he gave her $50. Then the lawyer asks '' Excuse me mam, what was the answer?'' The blonde just looks at him then reaches into her purse and gives him $5.
Two fish are in a tank.

One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
Riddle: WHat did one cheese dip say to another cheese dip that was having a bad day?

Answer:It's nacho day

(nacho=not your)

Hope this gave you a laugh ha ha :D
no i havent even found mine yet. =~(

but do u hav any extra?? =~)