You got jokes?

I'm feeling miserable and I need a good laugh..

Okay a smile will do.

Any good jokes?

You got jokes?-Myspace pictures

A guy walks into his doctors office and says, "doc, my leg hurts, what should I do"?? The doctor thinks a moment and says..."LIMP"!!

Hope it cheered you up.

You got jokes?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

Why did the lettuce scream when someone opened the refridgerator door? He saw the salad dressing! lol!
What does Santa Claus get for Christmas each year off the streets?

Three HO HO HO"S!
Three young women, a redhead, a brunette, and a blond, were trying out for an opening in the police department. They were seated in a room and were told to memorize as much as they could about a mugshot they were about to see. On the screen appeared a profile mugshot of a man for 4 seconds. The officer turned the lights back on and asked them to give details about what they saw. The redhead said, well, the guy only had one ear. The officer said," No, that was a profile shot. You only saw one side of his head. The brunette raised her hand and said, " I know, the guy only had one eye. No, said the officer, you only saw one side of his head, in profile. The blond raised her hand and said, " I think he was wearing contacts." Yes!, said the officer, you're right! How did you notice that? Well, the blond said, I figured with one eye and one ear, glasses would just fall off!
There were three guys, and the first one rented a hotel room, he walked into the room and in the dark sat a naked woman, and she said,

"I'm mable fable, cut off your nut's and lay'em on the table."

Well he did and died.

The second guy rents the same room, he walks in and the same thing, he cut's off his nut's and lay'em on the table died.

The third man rented the same room, and he walks in and see's the naked lady and hears what she says,

"I'm mable fable, cut off your nuts and lay'em on the table."

Well the third man says,

"Well I'm the goast of Christmas past, you touch my ball's and I'll kick your @$$!
two men went hunting and the one guy accidentally shot his friend. So he calles 911 and the operator said OK first of all make sure he is dead. the man said OK hold on. The operator heard a loud bang and the man said OK now what!
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balchoy."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

The third man came to the front of the line, and St. Peter asked for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator
A brunette a red head and a blonde were stranded on a deserted island. They found a majic lamp. after rubbing it a gennie poped out and sead he would grant them all one wish. The brunette said she wished she had a row boat. POOF she got a rowboat and started rowing away. The readhead said she wished she knew how to swim. POOF she started swimming away. The blonde thought for awhile and said she wished she was a man. POOF She turned into a man and walked across the bridge!.................................... aren't so dumb now are they!!! HAHAHA
The Root of Women's Problems

MEN tal illness

MEN strual cramps

MEN tal breakdown

MEN opause

GUY necologist......................

And when there is real trouble, it's a HIS terectomy.

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?