Riddles and Jokes!!!!!?

does anyone know any good riddles???? or jokes???

Riddles and Jokes!!!!!?-Myspace pictures

1. Riddle

I am leaving in water. If u cut my head I am at your door step. If u cut my tail I am a fruit. If u cut both I am with u.

Pearl

Cut off the head- Earl

Cut off the tail-Pear

Cut both ends-Ear

2. Joke

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.

As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food."

The panda yells back, "Hey, man, I'm a panda. Look it up!"

The bartender opens his dictionary to panda: "A tree-climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

Riddles and Jokes!!!!!?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

why was the tomato blushing?

because he saw the salad dressing...

ha ha
here's a joke

a man walked into a bar

what did he say to the bartender?

he said ouch

but what did the bartender say to him?

he said hey watch where your going im tending this bar
what did the stoplight say to the other stoplight? don't look I'm changing!

how many animals did moses take on the ark? none it was noah!
A young boy had just got his driver's permit and inquired of his father, if they could discuss the possibility of buying a motorcycle. His father took him to the study and said to the boy, "I'll make a deal with you, son. You bring your grades up from a C to a B-average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut and we'll talk about the motorcycle."

Well, the boy thought about that for a moment and decided that he'd best settle for the offer, and they agreed.

After about six weeks the boy came back and again asked his father about the motorcycle. Again they went to the study where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You've brought your grades up, and I've observed that you've been studying your Bible and participating a lot more in the Bible study class on Sunday morning. But I'm real disappointed seeing as you haven't got your hair cut."

The young man paused a moment and then said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Sampson had long hair, Moses had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, and there's even strong argument that Jesus Himself had long hair."

To which his father replied, "You're right, son. Did you also notice that they all WALKED everywhere they went?"