I need jokes!!!?

can you please give me any funny jokes that will make you pee in your pants.. haha help me I wanna laugh as in.. haha funny night today!!

I need jokes!!!?-Myspace pictures

one wampire asks a man that he want to suck the blood of sexy girls. then man says ---------you should be a "whisper" then.......ha ha haaaaa

I need jokes!!!?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

Death of a Virgin

Two sisters lived together, and one became quite ill. Her doctor told her she had but a short time to live.

She spoke to her sister and said, 鈥淛ennie, when I die and you put up a gravestone, I want you to inscribe it just the way I tell you. I want them to put my name on it and underneath: BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.鈥?br>

She died shortly thereafter, and Jennie went to the maker of the tombstone and explained what inscription she wanted. The gravestone maker told her that there were simply too many words to be put on the headstone.

Jennie complained that those were her sister鈥檚 dying request. The gravestone maker assured her that he would do his best.

After a month the gravestone maker called Jennie and told her the stone was ready, and that he had complied with her dead sister鈥檚 wishes as best he could.

Jennie looked at the tombstone and across the top was her sister鈥檚 name just as she asked, and underneath was printed.

鈥淩ETURNED - UNOPENED

A blond began a job as an elementary school counsellor, and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids were enjoying a game of soccer.

She approached and asked if he was alright. The boy said he was.

A little while later however, she noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, the blond said, 鈥淲ould you like me to be your friend?鈥?br>

The boy hesitated, then said, 鈥淥kay鈥? looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, she then asked, 鈥淲hy are you standing here all alone? Why don鈥檛 you go and join those boys playing soccer over there?鈥?br>

鈥淏ecause鈥?.,鈥?the little boy said with great exasperation, 鈥淚鈥檓 the goalie!鈥潀||You want a pee in your pants joke?? OK...

In a 1st grade class, the teacher notices one little girl has peed her pants in her seat. The teacher asks her why she didn't put up her hand. The little girl replies, "I did, but it trickled through my fingers."