Little Johny Jokes?

anyone ten points for the best little johny jokes.

p.s.

i also want some really good pranks.

Little Johny Jokes?-Myspace pictures

one day little johnny humpfaster was sent to the principal's office. all of a sudden, he started humping the secretary. all of a sudden, the principals walks in and shouts "JOHNNY HUMPFASTER!"

little johnny replies "im trying, im trying!"

Little Johnny's mother asked him to go to town to sell the family duck at the market for $5. While walking down the road on the way to town, Little Johnny was stopped by Helga, the town wh*re. "Whatcha got there Johnny?" "It's our family duck I need to go sell him down at the market." Helga had never seen such a nice duck, and offered to give Little Johnny a lay in exchange for the duck. Curious because he had never had sex, Little Johnny accepted the offer. After they were through, Little Johnny began to get very upset. "What's wrong sugar?" asked Helga. "Well, I was told to sell that duck at the market for our family." Helga said "Aw shucks honey, you were so good your first time. I'll tell you what. If you have sex with me again, I'll give you your duck back." Johnny agrees and they do the deed again. Now Johnny is happy. He's back on the road again with the duck to sell and he's just been laid twice, when all of a sudden he trips and the duck falls in the road. Just then a truck

.. came barreling down the road and ran over his family duck. Johnny began bawling as the driver of the truck got out of his vehicle. "Why are you sad" asked the driver, it's just a duck?" Little Johnny explained how he was supposed to sell the duck at the market for his family. The driver said "I'm sorry I killed your duck. Here's twenty-five bucks. I hope that makes up for it."

Later that day Johnny returns home and shows his mother the money. "Johnny! There's $25 here. How on earth did you get all this money for one duck?"

Johnny replied "Well I got a Fuc* for a Duck, and a Duck for a Fuc*, and Twenty-Five dollars for a Fuc*ed up Duck!"

Little Johny Jokes?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

idk what little jonny jokes are but here is a true story

**MEGA MORON AWARDS**

Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
Little Johnny goes to his father and asks, "Dad, is god a man or a woman?"

His Dad replies, "Johnny, both. God is both."

Johnny asks, "Dad, is god black or white?'

His Dad says, "Both. God is both."

Ok, then Johnny asks, "Dad, is Michael Jackson God?"
no
Little Johnny's teacher asks, "What is the chemical formula for water?"

Little Johnny replies, "HIJKLMNO"!!

The teacher, puzzled, asks, "What on Earth are you talking about?"

Little Johnny replies, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"

One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water

hole to get some water for cooking dinner.

As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could.

"Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked.

"I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!"

"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been

there for years, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"

"Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as

I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"

Little Johnny was on his way back home from the store with a

loaf of bread in one hand, and his other hand in his pants

pocket.

Off in the distance, Father Joseph sees little

Johnny and realizes this is the perfect opportunity to go preach the gospel of the Holy Bible to the young boy.

Father Joseph approaches little Johnny and says, "I see that you have the "Staff of Life" in one hand."

"Yep," replies little Johnny. "And I have a loaf of bread in

the other!"

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.

"Excellent, Michael!"

Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny...

Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just f*%@# beautiful!"

Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

"Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.

He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked.

Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"