Any good jokes or picture links?

Does anyone really super funny jokes. I mean they must be funny. If you give me one that is real funny 10 points will be granted.

Any good jokes or picture links?-Myspace pictures

Mary is asleep in religion class.The teacher walks over and says "Who created the world?" Jimmy the boy behind mary sticks a pencil in marys back."God almighty"Says mary.And goes back to sleep."Very good"says the teacher.Then the teacher asked another question"Who is the son of god?" gain Jimmy came to the rescue "Jesus christ"Shouts mary.And falls back asleep."Very good says the teacher.Then the third question came"What did Eve say to Adam after havong the 23rd baby?" Then for the thrid time Jimmy came to the rescue "I swear to god"Says Mary "If you stick that thing in me once more,I'll break it in half"

Any good jokes or picture links?

-(Myspace images myspace.com)

I do have one joke... it's kind of childish but I think it's funny.... okay, here it goes....

Q: What did the fish say when he ran into a concrete wall?

A: Dam(n)
http://www.ahajokes.com/blonde_jokes.htm...

http://images.google.com/images?q=funny+...

http://images.google.com/images?svnum=10...

http://www.ahajokes.com/

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/

http://www.jokesgalore.com/

http://dir.yahoo.com/Entertainment/Humor...

http://cleanjokes.com/

http://www.dirtyjokesinc.com/

http://www.aarons-jokes.com/funny-jokes/

http://www.lotsofjokes.com/dirty.htm

http://www.aardvarkarchie.com/jokes/inde...

http://www.funnyjokes.com/

http://www.lifeisajoke.com/luvnmarriage_...
this is a joke that i found at astraweb, enjoy!!!

PICK UP LINES THAT MAY GET YOU KILLED

1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

6. You are so fine that I'd eat your **** just to see where it came from.

7. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

8. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go ****.

9. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ***!

10. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?

11. You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!

12. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.

13. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?

14. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

15. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.

16. Guy: "Would you like to dance?"

Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you."

Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants"

17. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

18. **** me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

19. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

20. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

21. Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?

22. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this motel room.

23. Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.

24. Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

25. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

26. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

27. That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

28. I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

29. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.
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My friend is a rather old-fashioned lady, quite elegant and delicate, especially in her choice of language. She and her husband were planning a week-long camping trip, so she wrote to the campground for reservations. She didn't quite know how to ask about toilet facilities. She didn't want to write toilet in her letter.

After much deliberation, she thought of the old-fashioned term "Bathroom Commode." But when she wrote it down, she thought she was being too forward, so she rewrote the entire letter and referred to the bathroom commode as the B.C. "Does your campground have its own B.C.?" she asked in her letter.

Well the campground owner wasn't old-fashioned at all, and when he got this letter, he couldn't figure out what she was talking about. The "B.C." business had stumped him. After giving it much thought, the owner decided that she must be asking about the location for the local Baptist Church, so he wrote the following reply:

Dear Madam:

I regret very much the delay in answering your letter but I now take the pleasure of informing you that the B.C. is located six miles north of the campground.

It is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I will admit that it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly. No doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a day of it.

The last time my wife and I went was six months ago and it was so crowded that we had to stand up the whole time. Right now, there is a supper planned to raise money for more seats. It will be held in the basement of the B.C.

I would like to say that it pains me that I am not able to go more regularly, but it is not for lack of desire on my part. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, especially in cold weather.

If you decide to come to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time that you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks. Remember, that this is a very friendly community.

The Campground Owner

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Bush Leadership Test

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.

Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

Bush nods: "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Dick Lugar to the White House and says, "Senator Lugar, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Lugar hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?"

Bush agrees, and Lugar leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Lugar calls Rice at the State Department and explains his problem.

"Now lookee here, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Rice answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved, Lugar rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Condoleezza Rice!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb ****, it's Tony Blair!"

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